Wednesday, July 12, 2006

What does it take to stay married?

MarriageAdvice.com recently took a poll about what keeps marriages together, that is, the 50% or so of couples that do remain married.

700 people (not couples) responded and here is why they stayed with their spouse:
30% - due to love
30% - because of children
20% - commitment
9% - out of fear
8% - finances
4% - tradition

(That does add up to 101%, but I don't think you should lose any sleep about that.)

Beth Young, Senior Editor, offers advice on going the distance. Much of it has been said over and over again: show your appreciation and love, make date nights, get out without the children. Do you follow this advice?

Marriage and family counselor, Deborah Carver, LMSW, observed that, "people who stay married out of love are working hard at their marriage. A popular catch phrase these days is, 'I’ve fallen out of love.” She advised that this attitude is a cop out because everyone knows that a good marriage takes work; we love the things we take time and energy with."

Why are you staying married? If not for love or commitment, what can you do to improve your relationship?

2 comments:

  1. People who say marriage takes work are the same people who, a few years later, are going to explain why they are divorced. I think this whole "marriage takes work" mantra is a factor in modern people's inability/unwillingness to stay married.

    Life is rough. Marriage is the joyful part of life, not a job. So, what does it take to stay married? I'd say, marrying someone you're crazy about and never letting divorce be an option.

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  2. Christine, I wholeheartedly agree with you! This idea that marriage (or any long relationship) is a "chore" usually means it's not going on any couple's "honey-do" list soon.

    With most couples having stressful a job life, who wants to come home and work on your marriage?

    Keep your marriage merry and it will last!

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