Thursday, April 06, 2006

Marriage Is Just Another Job

Men, good news! Forget about becoming more sensitive to your wife's feelings, pretending to care about those long talks about feelings, heck, don't even worry about your own feelings anymore!

While modern therapy has suggested that men do all of the icky stuff above, which turns your average guy's guts inside out, Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist, has a better idea: you're good at solving problems, "fixing" stuff, so do what you do best and apply it to your marriage.

It's actually a lot of work, but he thinks that men should take advantage of their logical orientation, make observations and create to-do lists. In other words, treat your marriage like a job.

His The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever offers eight ways to approach your wife and marriage on terms that will make more sense to you...and ultimately offer more happiness to the both of you. And at under $15, it's a heckuva lot cheaper than marriage counseling!

Right off the bat, the first way is "Make Your Marriage Your Job," and he proceeds to give marriage a job description. I can't promise you this is going to be as easy as it sounds, but it will give you a truly male perspective from which to approach your marriage and problems.

Craig Stoltz of the Washington Post gives a good rundown of the Eight Secrets.


  1. What is your opinion on the book? Have you read it? I'm a male, but it seems to me that this book is a little too sexist making men seem as if they are better at logical thinking than women, but by the sound of the title I would even pick it up and read

  2. Hi Nacho.
    I'm the author. Not only did I read it; I wrote it! LOL

    I hope you do read it. I don't think it's necessarily sexist to say that men and women differ. How come no one's offended if I say that women have better "intuition" than men or are better at verbal communication. But say that men have better developed "Visual-Spatial" skills, and you risk the wrath of the Harvard Faculty (as in Lawrence Summers).
    Take a look at the book. Then tell me what you think!
    Scott Haltzman

  3. I'll second what Scott says. As a woman, I've been told by my female friends that I'm too logical for most men. LOL! There's nothing worse than a woman who can hold her own or better a man with logic. My father raised me to debate issues (and lived to regret it).

    From personal experience, I can say that most men don't appreciate a woman who can out think them. Even my ex-hubby (with whom I'm on friendly terms) told me when I gave him advice about something, "I hated everything you said, but I have to admit, you're right. But I still don't like it."

    A man can listen to "straight up" advice from another man without feeling dominated, but if a woman doesn't offer it in a way that's a "suggestion" or "what do you think about this?," it's perceived as a criticism of a man's ability to think for himself.

    Sexism? Well, yes, it exists, if you want to think about it that way. To me, that's an oversimplification of the complex way in which men and women communicate.

    What about those alpha male types who enjoy a dominatrix's services?